haish.... *looong sigh*
i have to really give a warm thanks to this two guys that came into my life without me even really realizing it. all of them had been so nice. they had came politely to me and asking me to choose them. they both had so many nice things to offer that had sometime not just make my heart ache but also my head.
sometimes i wonder. why oh why. so i had been nice and light-hearted towards you at first. but i never knew that my easy-going character had open your heart to accept me with such offer that i felt tempted and at the same time confused. i was very reluctant to choose. i could not choose. why you had to make me choose. (hey, it rhymes! hahaha. ehem2. getting serious *in serious tone*)
the reason why i blog it is i want you to give me your honest opinion. please help me as the decision that i make could effect my life entirely.
guy 1
be friend with him was never my attention. some girls would never even have a glimpse on him as he had always been look down considered as 'uncool'. but being an open-minded and obedient girl, i choose to be friend him. i had never knew him before. he had been introduce to me at a sudden that i had no other choice but to get to know him better. so he may be a little geek and not as cool as guy 2, yet he keeps me grounded. i neglected and pay no attention to him for a while. but after a few months, he came back and opened a new door for me. my perspective towards him change completely. he had open my eyes with new opportunity and promised new hope that i had never realised before. BUT. there is a risky part. we might make it further than the sky or we could go lower than the valley. it all depends on how far that we would work hard to make it happen. my future could really change as choosing him could take me one step closer in realising my long lost dreams.
guy 2
this guy had always been in the cool and popular crowd. making girls 'gaga' all over him had never bothered him before. why would he be surprised if girls would do anything to be with him. even just a glimpse of him can make any heart skip a beat. hmm. where to start on how delicious he could be...
handsome, has great features, speaks multiple language, a good debater, versatile..that is just to name a few character of him that no girl could refuse. oh yeah, i forgot to mention. his religious. wow. cool yet religious at the same time. who had the heart and mind to say NO to him. he had all the characteristics that are listed in every girl checklist. no flaws found. YET. anyway. this dreamy guy had chosen to check-in into my life. he invite me to be with him. me? yes me. the girl who had nothing special to offer but my ordinary-self. i just happen to choose to get to know him better because i had heard about how amazing he was. when the offer came, wow! my jaw dropped. i could not believe it. i never give any hope actually. but when he chose me, i was hold back. is this what i really want? apart from the awesome things that he offers, i did found SOME flaws. he keeps me close to him. TOO close. he watches every move that i make. (yeah, he's the jealous type). in other words he is possessive. if i choose to be with him, it would be really hard for me to mingle and socialize with other guys. of course i could still realize my dream. he is willing to help at any way. he is a great helper and motivator. everyone could never argue on that.
for 17 years of my go-with-the-flow life, it has always gone with the way that i plan. it had been fulfilled very well with things that i am super proud of. then 18 came. now it slowly starts to put me at such uncomfortable situation as i was introduce to decision. she acts as a sister that i had never had. she was very nice. she guided me into the after-school life which was very new to me. then freedom came along which given me the opportunity to do absolutely anything that i want. i let a free-spirited life. all of a sudden time, my old friend starts to reminding me about decision and time is not being nice at all. she kept on chasing anywhere i went. she even haunt me in my dreams. i could not run from her until i had my final answer. i search for freedom but freedom was definitely not helping.
i have to choose only guy one that should be THE ONE....i want to choose the guy. i really do.
but...
actually...
i...
was waiting for guy 3 to give his answer. (GUY 3?!?! *kat blkg ade muzik saspens*)
guy 3
(so there is guy 3?)
yup. guy 3. he is the guy of my life. i had always been dreaming about this type of guy since i started knew the meaning of the word dream. yes he was the guy of my dream. there had never been a second in my life (ok. tipulah x pernah. ade la jgk. tp skjp je) that i doubted about him. he promised things that i had always been dreaming of. he is willing to make it happen. its important right? he has done a lot of good things that had made the country proud and of course attracted me towards him. even my parents approved him. and yes i would say that he is THE ONE. but he has things that need to be done before he could come back to me and be mine forever. he promised. he had never let me down. the good thing is he will come to me soon. but what about guy 1 and 2? they cannot wait that long.
so FINALLY all of them had given me their final words. and whatever decisions that i make, they will accept it with open hearts.
this is what they said to me.
GUY 1 : i'm very sorry Maisarah. i cannot wait any longer. i need to move on. i gave you until the end of this
week. it's either me or them. if you did not choose me, i'm okay with that. i would not bother you
any more. we will go our separate ways. i wish you would make the right desicion.
my respond : "alright then. if that's what you want. then, i will make my decision before the end of this week."
GUY 2 : Maisarah. i am willing to wait for you. if you want to choose other guys, i am willing to let you go. if
not, i am willing to accept you back into my life. even if you accept me first but then opt to other
guys and refused to continue with me, i won't be heavy-hearted to let you go. i promise.
my respond : "you have been so nice to me. i'm touched. i'm very sorry if i make you feel that way. i promise if my decision is you, i will take care of you at my best."
GUY 3 : i am very sorry that i had to make you wait and put you in such situation. this is all against my will.
once my job had done, i will give you my final answer. and whatever decision had been made, i
hope you will accept. but i pray to ALLAH that my answer would make your heart feel delighted
and i am able to get a smiling face from you.
my respond : "if that what you say, then i am waiting a good news from you. i believe in you..aminnn"
so?
my decision would affect anyone. some heart might be broken. but i am really sorry because i really did not want to. but my heart is important too. it deserves to be happy.
any decisions that i make will change my life forever (not being dramatic. its true)
it will be posted here..
soon..
so stay tune..
some of you might have no idea who are these 'guys' that i was talking about,
but their true identity will soon be revealed..
TO BE CONTINUE........
